4 Limiting Beliefs to Leave in 2024 as an Introvert + How to Be More Social in 2025

Written By Caroline Smith

Happy New Year! It's officially 2025, and I wanted to share with you some useful advice that I think every introvert — especially shy and socially awkward introverts — can use to become more socially confident this year (without having to act extroverted of course).

Join me as I talk about the 4 limiting beliefs that you should stop having as an introvert, including how introverted qualities are just as valuable as extroverted ones, why it is not more difficult for introverts to find and keep friends, why you should stop trying to be 100% perfect in every single social interaction, and how introverted does not automatically mean shy and socially awkward; and we will create your personalized gameplan for how to be more social in 2025 in an introvert-friendly way using my free fillable and printable template.

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Transcript:

Welcome to The Introverted Misfit Podcast with me, Caroline Smith, where we discuss topics related to the human experience of connection and communication with a slightly awkward, introverted twist.

Today is New Year’s Eve at least at the time I’m recording this episode, which means that the year of 2024 is on it’s way out.

I almost can’t believe it because it feels like just yesterday it was January and I was still laying the groundwork for my coaching business and this podcast, but time really is flying by.

Because this is the time that we are all starting to create new year’s resolutions for ourselves, I wanted to share with you some more specific resolutions that you can use to improve your social life as an introvert, especially if you are a shy, awkward introvert like I once used to be (and still kind of am).

But I want to start off with a story.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the story of Mohini the Tiger, but I think it’s a good example of what I’ll be talking about in today’s episode.

In the 60s, President Eisenhower received a white tiger named Mohini as a gift.

It was sent to live in the Washington Zoo. Back then, the cages were 3×3 m and were made out of concrete and iron bars. People could see Mohini constantly and nervously pacing, back and forth, year after year.

That changed when the zoo received money from a sponsor who had decided it was worth the trouble and investment to give Mohini a larger enclosure.

The new area was around 5.000 sqm, and it had hills, trees, water and an array of vegetation, all for Mohini to explore and take advantage of.

Everybody was eager to see how Mohini would react to its new, big, and beautiful environment, so much so that even the press was invited to seize the joyful moments.

Mohini entered its new reign, but alas, it looked for the far corner of the new abode where it started pacing back and forth on a 3×3 m area, and kept pacing until the grass disappeared.

Mohini did this until its death.

The story of Mohini is deeply heart-breaking. A beautiful, magnificent creature that is conditioned to walk in a 3×3 m cage forever even though he had plenty of space to roam.

Moreover, it is a very disturbing metaphor for those of us people who are not willing or able to break free from the imaginary mental cages that we put ourselves in that I call limiting beliefs.

The more we tell ourselves the limiting beliefs, the more we are too afraid to achieve our goals and leave our comfort zone even if there’s something wonderful waiting for us on the other side.

Today’s podcast episode is all about becoming a more socially confident introvert in 2025 in two main parts: the first part is about 4 limiting beliefs that you should stop having about yourself as an introvert so that you can shift your mindset around being social, and make sure to stick around for the second part in which I will give you a simple gameplan with specific steps on how to be more social.

I even have a free online template I’m going to give you that you can fill out along with me when we are creating the gameplan.

You can either fill it out in Google Docs, or you can print it out and write on it like I’m going to do.

4 Limiting Beliefs That Introverts Should Stop Believing

Limiting beliefs are those negative thoughts we have and those negative perceptions about ourselves that prevent us from reaching our full potential.

For example, I used to have this negative perception about myself that no one would ever like me or want to be my friend, so as a result I wouldn’t even attempt to get close to people or let them get close to me.

Part of the reason was because I am autistic which came with a whole set of social and communication difficulties that made socializing much more difficult, but I think the other part was that I am naturally very quiet and to myself, i.e., introverted, and it didn’t seem like people were drawn to that kind of energy — or at least not the kinds of people I was surrounded by.

Because of this limiting belief that I had, which was that no one liked me or would like me, I was holding myself back from making valuable social connections and moving forward in my career and my business.

I avoided social interactions because I was anticipating rejection before it would even happen, I was uncomfortable when people were nice to me because I didn’t think I could be as good of friend to them, and overall I was already giving up on myself before I had even given people a chance to know me.

Because of that limiting belief that just screamed, “I don’t love or respect myself,” I realized that other people were reading that energy on me which was essentially repelling them.

And in that way, it was this self-fulfilling prophecy that kept me in this endless loop of being excluded and rejected.

That’s really what limiting beliefs do to us — they make us believe that we can’t do something, and therefore that outcome is more likely to become a reality.

So let’s dispel the 4 common limiting beliefs that I’ve noticed introverts sometimes have about themselves:

  1. Your introverted qualities are not as valuable as extroverted qualities.

    This is a concept that I went over in much greater detail in one of my earlier podcast episodes, titled The Valuable Role of Introverts in the Introvert-Extrovert Balance, but I’m going to give you the high points of that episode for this first point, because I think it’s relevant.

    Introversion and extraversion exist on a spectrum of sorts, which means that just like each of us posses both introverted and extroverted characteristics that we decide when and when not to use, society as a whole has a balance of introverted and extroverted qualities that both play important roles.

    And I think that because introverts and extroverts belong to this great balancing act, one is not better or worse than the other.

    Both are useful in the right time and place, and it’s up to us as individuals on this spectrum to know our strengths, understand our weaknesses, and know how to adapt when necessary.

    So, although it’s tempting to look at your extroverted counterparts and see how easily they can work a room and exude lively energy that attracts a lot of immediate attention, there is value in your love of quiet time, alone time, time spent thinking deeply about things, introspective nature, your preference for 1-on-1 connections, and however else introversion exists within you.

    When you learn how to lean into those strengths and be adaptable when necessary, which may mean leaning into your inner extrovert sometimes, that’s when you’ll really see the value in your more introverted nature.

    I once had a conversation with someone who was telling me about his daughter who is an introvert, and he told me that when he asks her a question or wants to know her thoughts about something, she has a lot to say because she’s usually spent so much time thinking about it.

    So in that way, her introverted strengths are revealed through extroverted means of communication.

    We are just different sides of the same coin, but both personality traits are valuable.

  2. It’s harder for introverts to find and keep friends.

    I’m very active on Facebook these days in terms of my business (which by the way if you’re not already following my page, you should check the description to find it or you can search for The Introverted Misfit and it should pop up in the search results) and I am a part of two very large introvert Facebook groups.

    One common thing I notice is that people will complain about not having any friends or not being able to easily make friends and they will blame it on them being introverted.

    As an introvert myself who used to struggle making and maintaining relationships, I now realize that friends are no more harder for introverts to make than extroverts, which again we’ll go over in the second part of this episode when we come up with the gameplan.

    It’s all about two things: going places that fit your personality and communication style, and then actually talking to people.

    If you’re a naturally quiet person and you go out to clubs every weekend as your sole place of socializing, it will be harder for you to meet people because you’re out of your element — especially if you are shy and awkward in addition to being introverted.

    I remember this one time my cousin who is like my best friend since childhood took me bar hopping downtown; we must’ve been like 22 and 23.

    And I remember going to the first two places, and I was so anxious about being there because of the loud music, the groups that were already socializing, etc.

    We even pulled up to the third place of the night, and I couldn’t even go inside because I could hear the music before we even pulled into the parking lot and I saw so many people there who I just did not think I would fit in with.

    My point is if you only go to places where there are too many people, lots of group conversations that you don’t know how to enter, and lots of loud music and excitement that overwhelm you — your confidence around making friends is likely to take a hit because those environments are not ideal for your personality.

    So it’s not more difficult to make friends — you just have to know yourself and know which places are more conducive to your personality.

    The next two are specifically for the shy and awkward introverts who may struggle with their social skills, so if that doesn’t apply just stick around for the gameplan segment of this episode.

  3. Your social skills have to be 100% perfect all of the time.

    Many of us tend to think that we have to do everything perfect, otherwise it’s not good enough.

    If we want to start a business, everything has to be 100% perfect in our lives.

    If we want to be in a relationship, we have to be 100% perfect.

    If we want to make friends, we have to be 100% perfect otherwise they won’t like us.

    In my experience, that is not true, and I think if anyone is expecting that from anyone else, they live in a serious state of delusion (in my opinion of course).

    None of us are perfect, and that’s regarding our communication skills, too.

    There are going to be some awkward moments.

    There are going to be some times when you say or do the wrong thing and have to apologize for it.

    There are going to be times when you misread a situation.

    It happens to all of us, and I know this firsthand as an autistic woman.

    Even as socially confident as I am today, I still have not managed to be 100% perfect in every interaction; the only difference is that now those moments where things don’t go as well as I wanted do not completely ruin my self-esteem and keep me from trying again like they used to.

    In last week’s episode about How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection, I talked more in-depth about my experience with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) as an autistic person, which is basically an overreaction to perceived or actual rejection.

    So back when RSD was still ruining my social life, every little thing that someone said or did that I interpreted as rejection would make me feel so badly about myself that I would just hide away for hours or sometimes days.

    Not literally hide away because I would still have to go to class and work and whatnot, but I would just be very socially withdrawn.

    Now that I have fully accepted myself in all of my communication strengths and flaws, those awkward and cringey moments may bother be for a little while, but they no longer send me into hiding for days on end.

    And that’s where I wish for you to be if you’re not completely there yet.

  4. Introverted automatically means you are shy and socially awkward.

    This limiting belief comes up a lot on my podcast because it is a common misconception that I think is important to dispel.

    And just like the #2 limiting belief we just went over, this is one I see in the introvert Facebook groups all of the time.

    It’s possible to be introverted, shy, awkward, or any combination of the three, for different reason, but not all introverts are shy and awkward.

    An introvert is someone who is more reserved and quiet, tends to be more introspective, and enjoys spending more time alone than with others.

    A shy person is someone who is nervous or timid in the company of other people, and social anxiety, which is a little more severe than shyness, is a mental health condition in which the person has an irrational fear of interacting with others.

    Social awkwardness is a pattern of difficulty communicating and engaging with others in social situations. It can make it hard to understand social norms and body language, and can lead to anxiety and discomfort.

    So they are not the same thing, but I can see why people get them confused because you see someone sitting in the corner of the room being more introverted and socially withdrawn, and you might assume they are only doing that because they don’t know how to talk to people or are scared of talking to people.

    But not every introvert is socially withdrawn because they struggle with socializing — it’s possible to be a socially confident introvert who simply prefers communication styles and environments that are more conducive to your introverted personality.

So those are the limiting beliefs that I wish every introvert would NOT bring into the new year, because I know firsthand how many opportunities and connections these beliefs are preventing you from experiencing.

Just in my own life, it was keeping me from making valuable friends, dating, making business connections especially as a fairly new entrepreneur in my coaching business, and moving forward in my 9-to-5 job as a web developer.

In fact I just told the story of how becoming socially confident led to me getting a 25% salary increase in a recent podcast episode.

Now that we’ve gotten over those limiting beliefs — or maybe not gotten over them but at least planted the seed in your mind — now I want us to come up with your gameplan for being more social as an introvert.

2025 Gameplan on How to Be More Social (For Introverts)

I’ve printed my template out, but you can check the description to download the template.

Or you can go directly to theintrovertedmisfit.com/gameplan and that will tell you how to download the template.

It might take you a minute because you have to click on the link, then enter your email to get it, but you can just pause the this episode and then come back when you have it open in a separate tab.

  1. Write down your communication strengths and preferences.

    Mine are 1-on-1 connections or conversations with a few people at a time.

    I’m getting a lot better at group conversations, but I’m much more comfortable starting out with 1 or 2 people.

    I enjoy deep discussions and thinking deeply about things, but I also don’t mind light-hearted conversation every now and then, so I think I’m pretty flexible in that area.

    At this stage in my life, I am not afraid of controversial topics or conflicting opinions, so I’ll say enjoys discourse sometimes.

  2. Write down what activities match your socialization style described in #1.

    Reading and writing.

    Exercises like walking and hiking. I walk every day, but hiking is something I don’t do very often.

    I’m not an artsy person but I do enjoy crafts ever since I tried out this local place where you can paint your own pottery, and it was a very calm yet social event if you go at the right times. They even host events sometimes where you can meet new people. So I’ll just say crafts.

    I was talking to my older sister and she goes to this creative writing group a few times a month, and that sounds like something I would be interested in, so I’m going to add that to my list.

    And I’m going to write down Bible Study, because I already go to church every Sunday but sometimes there is not much opportunity to socialize with people after the service is done and everyone’s trying to leave. So a smaller study group is a place I think I could meet people.

    I think those are enough options for me.

  3. Pick at least 2 of those recurring activities that you really want to commit to doing.

    If you have too many options, you’ll probably get overwhelmed, so I think 2 or 3 is enough, but if you think your social battery can handle more, then go for it.

    For me…

  4. Put the events from #3 on your calendar.

    Whether you use the calendar on your phone or a physical planner, make sure you have a way of reminding yourself when it’s time to actually go to the event, otherwise it will just fade into the background with all the other overwhelming things you have to worry about.

  5. Actually go to the events!

    This step is the big accountability step, because as I’m sure you are well aware, you can make as many plans as you want, but if you don’t follow through on them, their just plans that will never come to fruition.

    So, hold yourself accountable or if you need an accountability partner you can email me a photo of your gameplan or just send the “View Only” link to your Google Doc to my email at caroline@theintrovertedmisfit.com, and I will send you 3 monthly follow-up emails for the month of January, February, and March.

And there you go!

Now we’ve got a simple, yet effective gameplan that you can use in 2025 to become more social as an introvert!

But I know that for some of you listening and watching, if you are still struggling with shyness, social anxiety, or social awkwardness, even a basic gameplan like the one you’ve just created can seem like a mountain to climb because you don’t feel equipped with the confidence and the social skills to enact the gameplan.

And it can also be difficult to get out of this rut when you are naturally introverted because since we tend to prefer our alone time anyway, we don’t always have an incentive to get out there and begin socializing and conquering our fears of social interactions.

If that sounds like you and you could use some 1-on-1 help with achieving your social confidence goals, I want to invite you to work with me as your personal coach who can help guide you through the issues you’re facing.

Whether it’s your fear of rejection, your conversational skills, your struggles with maintaining relationships, or something else, my program, Communicate With Quiet Confidence, is a 12-week program specifically for shy, awkward introverts who want to become socially confident while still catering to their needs as an introvert.

If you want to work with me in this coaching capacity, you can check the link in the description, or you can just go directly to theintrovertedmisfit.com/coaching and book your free discovery call with me so that we can talk about your goals.

That’s all for today’s episode.

As always, if you enjoyed this talk, please don’t forget to hit the follow or subscribe button, leave a review and/or comment whether you’re tuning in on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts from, and share this podcast with a friend.

Thanks for listening, and have a great day!

Connect With Caroline:

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Caroline Smith

Caroline is the founder of The Introverted Misfit, a community committed to helping socially inept people become more socially confident in themselves.

https://theintrovertedmisfit.com
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