What 2 Years of “The Introverted Misfit” Taught Me About YOU

Written By Caroline Smith

February 4, 2026 was The Introverted Misfit’s two-year business anniversary!

In this episode, I want to tell you the story behind my brand and my business and the motivation behind my mission, and then I want to tell you 4 major lessons that working and interacting with people like you over the past 2 years of my business has taught me about YOU — not literally you, but people who have some of the same social needs, differences, and difficulties as you face on a daily basis.

Join me in this week’s discussion about the work I do to help people like you, and about what listeners like you have taught me about social confidence!

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Transcript

Hello to all of you who are tuning into this episode of the introverted misfit podcast.

Can you relate to that feeling of being an introverted misfit: an introvert who finds socializing to be like a confusing maze that does nothing except make you really nervous? When you get into social situations, you start to freak out and you just keep thinking to yourself, “I should’ve stayed at home.”?

If that sounds like you, you’re in luck, because your experience and struggles are the whole inspiration behind starting my business almost exactly 2 years ago.

This is an exciting episode, because February 4, 2026 was the 2-year anniversary of The Introverted Misfit!

It almost passed me by because I didn’t realize it until a few days ago, so I quickly had to change gears for this week’s podcast episode, but it’s fine. It’s still going to be an episode you can find some value in.

So, I wanted to take this opportunity in this episode to first tell you the story behind my brand and my business which is really the story of myself (and probably the story of you, too, to some extent), and then I want to tell you 4 major lessons that working and interacting with people like you has taught me during these last 2 years of me running this business and participating in my community.

If you look up the definition of the word “introvert,” you’ll find this: a person who is predominantly focused on internal thoughts and feelings rather than on external things or social interaction, often characterized as being quiet or withdrawn.

If you look up the definition of the word “misfit,” here’s what you will find: a person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way (and if you don’t know what conspicuous means, it means attracting notice or attention).

So now we put those together, and you have my business name, The Introverted Misfit, which is referring to myself.

My Story

The story of how I came to create The Introverted Misfit really starts all the way back to my childhood, all of which I spent being… an introverted misfit. And yes, I intentionally use the word “misfit” to describe my experiences for a reason.

From a very young age - around my first grade year of school - my parents and other family members began to notice some pretty noticeable differences in how I communicated and interacted with others versus how other kids my age were behaving.

Now I’ve always been quiet and more introverted, but based on the behaviors they were noticing, this was deeper than me just having a more reserved personality.

It was things like having no concept of facial expressions, having a very monotone voice, trouble meeting people and holding conversations, trouble picking up on social cues, struggling with things like emotional reciprocity which is a give-and-take of emotional support and empathy, not knowing when it’s appropriate for certain conversations to occur, all things related to socializing and communicating - which are both very necessary skills for people to have to a certain extent — and I say to a certain extent because even if the way you communicate and socialize looks a little different than the norm, you have to have some way of doing it to… survive.

It was very difficult for me to make friends all throughout my schooling years, and although I did pretty well academically, and I struggled a lot socially.

It’s not that I didn’t want to socialize with my peers, but I just couldn’t, and I really didn’t have any idea why I was that way, but I did know pretty early on that I was a little different because it almost felt like I was just sitting on the sidelines watching everyone participate in this really fun game, but I couldn’t play with them because I didn’t know the rules, and to me it felt like no one was telling me the rules. I guess you could call it the game of human connection.

So those struggles continue all the way up until high school and those struggles had been causing some pretty severe social anxiety for me even through my young adult years.

In high school, my parents decide to have me psychologically evaluated to try and figure out what could be the cause of these social issues, and surprise! I get a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, or as it’s now known as Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Level 1.

ASD is basically a neurological disorder that affects my ability to communicate and interact with others in the way most people do.

So now that word, “misfit,” has a whole different meaning to it.

At least now I had a reason as to why I struggled so much socially and relationally, and probably why I resonate so much with being an introvert. By the way, I have met some autistic extroverts before, so we are NOT all the same.

Now, how did I learn to cope with this reality? To make a longer story short, I had to do quite a bit of internal and external work to overcome that social anxiety and to realize that I could become my own version of socially confident — without being an extroverted social butterfly and without having 100% perfect social skills.

So that’s really the story behind me and my coaching business.

I need to clarify here that you do not need to be Autistic to resonate with the general idea of my story, because if you’ve made it this far, you identify as an introverted misfit to some degree, whatever your unique situation is.

So what exactly do I help people accomplish with my services?

I help introverts who find social situations to be tricky and nerve-racking overcome that without acting extroverted or being socially perfect. Like I tell people, I do not only work with Autistic people, although if you happen to be an Autistic adult with low support needs like myself, I can certainly help you, but generally, the only requirements you must meet to work with me are being introverted, struggling with shyness or social anxiety, having social challenges, and wanting to grow from the current state you’re in.

That’s what I do and who I help.

4 Major Lessons I’ve Learned About You During the Past 2 Years of Business

Now I want to move onto the segment of this episode where I tell you some important lessons that the past 2 years of being in business has taught me about you! Not literally you, but people like you — people who may struggle with the same challenges you face.

When I say the past 2 years, I’m mainly talking about the interactions I’ve had with people along the way — whether it’s potential clients, actual clients, people who attend my monthly Misfit Meet-Ups, people I’ve met at conferences and other business travels who I get to talk to, and more.

  1. You don’t hate people; you just need the right social strategies and the right environment to find your people.

    When I was still trying to find my footing in life, mostly regarding my mental health and my social issues, I used to describe myself as “hating people.”

    “I hate people.” That’s something I would often say and think to myself, and probably even to my parents every now and then.

    Well, after I have my transformation into a more socially confident version of myself year later, I look around and notice that, actually I don’t hate people; I just needed the right support, the right social strategies, and the right environment in which I could practice those strategies without judgement and rejection.

    I hear variations of this from the people I encounter: “I don’t like people.” “I can’t stand them.”

    When in reality, those people probably just needed the right strategies — perhaps you want to call them social skills — to help them become more comfortable in social settings so they know how to make the right connections.

    So if you’ve ever found yourself describing yourself as “hating people,” I want to encourage you to reframe that mindset to a more positive one: You just need some social strategies that work for your needs and preferences, and once you figure out what those strategies are and you practice them, you’ll start to make more connections — deep connections, superficial connections, friends, acquaintances, comrades, etc.

    So let’s repeat: You don’t hate people — you just need the right social strategies and environment to connect with your people; people who are a good fit for you. And then when we’ve had enough of dealing with people, we go back into our hobbit hole and recharge with some alone time until we’re ready to do it again.

  2. Community and support mean everything for a healthy, whole life.

    I don’t care who you are or what your situation is: You are human, which means you need community and human connection of some degree.

    It doesn’t matter if the connection is a short conversation with your neighbor a few times a week, or a conversation with someone who attends the same church you do every Sunday, or going to those family gatherings that happen a few times a year.

    You need connection and support from other humans.

    We live in communities. We thrive when we have support from people who have our best interest in mind.

    When I host my monthly meet-ups for adults with social fears and difficulties, many people who attend regularly are always saying how much they appreciate the sense of community and belonging. Many times, people have gone most of their lives feeling like, well, a “misfit,” frankly, and they have trouble meeting people in general, but especially meeting people who understand their social struggles and aren’t going to judge them for it.

    And the fact that they’ve been able to find that sense of community with other like-minded people has almost given them a new kind of attitude outside of the meet-ups, and I only know this because I get emails and DMs from people who come regularly.

    Even if the nature of that connection looks a little different from other people’s way of communicating, it stills serves a great purpose.

  3. Shyness and social anxiety is relative to the people you’re around.

    I’m not at all saying that shyness and social anxiety aren’t real things, because they absolutely are.

    As a former social anxiety sufferer, I know first-hand how real of a disorder that is.

    But, in many cases, those social fears become almost irrelevant when people are around the right kind of people — meaning people who understand some of their fears and differences; and who aren’t going to laugh at them or reject them.

    It’s crazy! It’s almost as if when you put people in a safe environment where they don’t feel like they have to be so hyperalert about what people say and think about them, they aren’t so shy anymore!

    Now of course, your shyness or anxiety around socializing is still going to be there once you leave that safe space and return back to the “real world” unless you actively do something to overcome it — which by the way, if you are still trying to overcome it, we should talk on a free call (find the link in the description) — but I think a really good starting point is to find a group of people who you can trust are going to accept you and interact with you without the judge-y behavior that you might often face in your day-to-day life.

  4. Social confidence is not about being socially perfect; it’s about doing what you can do and being OK with your differences.

    If you’ve ever heard me say the tagline of my business, you know the foundation of what I do is help introverts become socially confident without being extroverted or… wait for it… socially perfect.

    And that’s because I myself did that exact thing — I can confidently tell you I am NOT socially perfect even as socially confident as I am.

    And that’s the same thing I want for all of my clients, the people I encounter on a daily basis, you — podcast listener — and everyone who my work touches.

    I want people to know that social perfection is a myth. And I know that may not sound like something groundbreaking coming from someone on the spectrum like me, but it’s true for people who aren’t on the spectrum, too. Maybe to a lesser degree, but it’s still true.

    You’re always going to say something that doesn’t come out quite right every now and then, and you’ll have to get over it and explain it.

    You’re always going to say or do something a little awkward, but guess what? Nobody is thinking about it as much as you’re obsessing over it. So you can learn to let those moments go and move on with your life.

    Based on the work I’ve done on both myself and with others down through the years, here’s my personal definition of social confidence: The ability to navigate social settings while feeling self-assured that you belong just as much as anyone else, and without feeling the need to be 100% perfect. This means you can converse, engage, and express yourself without the excessive fear of judgement or rejection.

So, that is what everyday people like you have taught me over the past 2 years of being in business! And, like I said, if you want to become a socially confident version of yourself, whatever the source of your social fears and difficulties are, that’s exactly what I help people like you do in my work!

Just to reiterate the work that I do, I help introverts who find socializing to be difficult and nerve-racking overcome that without acting extroverted or being socially perfect.

If that service sounds like something you need and you want to know if you and I could work well together, I would love to talk more about your unique situation on a free Connection Call! We can talk about how my services, including my 1-on-1 program Communicate With Quiet, Quirky Confidence can help you become a more socially confident version of yourself.

That’s all for today’s episode.

As always, if you enjoyed this talk, please don’t forget to hit the follow or subscribe button, leave a review and/or comment whether you’re tuning in on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts from, and share this podcast with a friend. Thanks for listening, and have a great day!

Connect With Caroline:

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Small Talk for Introverts
Caroline Smith

Caroline, the founder of The Introverted Misfit, is dedicated to helping shy, awkward introverts become socially confident — without acting extroverted!

https://theintrovertedmisfit.com
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