How Introverts Can Face the Challenges of a Social Workplace
As an introvert who spent at least a decade in the corporate world, I understand the challenges that come when you’re part of a social workplace environment; you die a little inside whenever you have to attend the workplace holiday party, you don’t know if your quiet and reserved nature in conference room meetings is being mistaken for shyness or unwillingness to participate, and you might worry that your more extroverted coworkers have a negative opinion of you.
In this article, I want to give you some helpful tips that got me through the aforementioned challenges plus the multitude of other challenges that can arise when you’re an introvert in the workplace, and don’t worry — none of my advice includes how to act more extroverted!
Don’t Try to Act Extroverted — Just Be Yourself
Because many office workspaces strive to maintain a social environment, it can be tempting to think you have to pretend to be an extrovert just to get by, whether it’s at the office holiday party or in the conference room. Take it from someone who has been there; pretending to be an extrovert when you are an introvert often does more harm than good in the long run for many reasons; for instance, in the context of a workplace, you’ll have to do your work everyday with the mental and emotional stress of upholding a fake persona, and when the mask inevitably falls, people will wonder if something is wrong with you.
The good thing about a workplace is that you are getting paid to do your job to the best of your abilities, and you boss likely doesn’t care whether you have an introverted or extroverted personality if you can do your job well. As long as you have adequate soft skills, good communication skills, good social skills, strong work ethic, and can work well with others, you don’t have fake an extroverted personality, so just be yourself.
Speak Up; Your Opinion Matters
While not all introverts are shy in the workplace, it’s not uncommon for introverts to be more timid about speaking up in team meetings because of our natural tendency towards being quiet and reserving our thoughts.
If the people at your job didn’t see some sort of value in your qualities, you wouldn’t be sitting in the room with them, so know that your opinion matters, and sometimes you might have to ignore your natural tendencies as an introvert so that your opinion is heard. The good news is you don’t always have to speak up in meetings; introverts tend to do better in one-on-one interactions rather than multiple people talking and sharing ideas, so you can find time outside of your meetings to talk to coworkers or higher-ups about your ideas. By doing this, your ideas are heard after you’ve had time to think about them, and once people realize that you have some good ideas, it’s not uncommon for them to bring you into the discussion the next time around and begin to ask your opinion on things.
For more information about team work as an introvert, you might enjoy my article How to Be a Team Player at Work as an Introvert.
When It Comes to Office Parties, Show Your Face, Socialize With a Few People, Then Leave
Introverts typically despise social gatherings of any size, and workplace gatherings like office parties can be draining for us. However, I’m going to suggest that you branch out of your comfort zone a little and at least show your face, and here’s why: in my experience, socializing with coworkers outside of the workplace is one of the few ways you can form good, trust-based relationships in addition to being a good employee. It makes people feel like you are making an effort to get to know people, which is a positive reflection on you. So, at least show up to the party, talk to a few people and be friendly, and then leave once your social battery is drained.
Here are a few tips that won’t socially drain you too much (hopefully):
Help setup for the party; this way you can socialize with people outside of the more crowded context of the party.
Come to the party on time or slightly early so that you can leave before the rah-rah stuff starts; This way, you can socialize with people before the alcohol starts to get in their system and things get a little wild.
While you’re at the party, find people who appear to be as introverted and quiet as you. The good news is for you, they won’t be hard to spot; just find the people who are awkwardly standing in the corner and not talking to anyone. This takes the pressure of socializing with extroverted people off your shoulders.
If you need some extra help in this arena, you might enjoy reading my article How to Navigate Office Parties as an Introvert.
Be Cordial to Your Coworkers, Even if You Must Engage in Small Talk Sometimes
Introverts have a tendency to keep their heads down and avoid social interactions at all costs because of fear that it will lead to longer more drawn out conversations, but there’s nothing lost from extending a friendly greeting or interaction once in a while.
You don’t have to fake being extroverted by trying to engage 5 people in a conversation all at once, but a simple “Good morning,” “How are you doing today?” or “That was a great point you brought up in that meeting earlier,” to someone can do wonders for work relationships. Even if it does turn into a slightly longer conversation than you’d like sometimes, I think it’s worth it to show your coworkers and the higher-ups that you’re capable of getting along with people and that your quiet, introverted nature does not mean you can’t be sociable when the time calls for it.
Be a Team Player, Even When You Feel Like Working Alone
These aren’t the school days anymore where you can get away with doing every project and assignment by yourself because you work better alone, and believe me when I say I understand those sentiments completely. When you’re in the work place, you will inevitably have to work alongside others and ask for other people’s expertise. If you don’t learn this skill, you risk doing something incorrectly because you didn’t want to ask somebody else for help, or your coworkers and higher-ups might mistake this behavior as an unwillingness to work with others.
I know this tip isn’t an introvert’s idea of a good time, but unless you have the luxury of working from home, the workplace isn’t necessarily a place to “have a good time” as much as it’s a place to do your job, so at one point or another, you’ll have to defy your introverted tendencies and work with others. When I started my first job as a software engineer, I was onboarded with three other entry-level engineers, and our supervisors made it clear to us that they expected us to work together to complete our first starter project. What do you think I did? I certainly didn’t go up to my boss on my first day on the job and explain that because of my extremely introverted nature, I prefer not to work with others; instead, I sucked it up, did what was expected of me, and eventually, I learned the value of team work in a work place setting. Eventually, you can try to transition into a career path that fits better with your more introverted tendencies, but remember, you can’t have it all, all of the time.
Sometimes we have to compromise our preferences and maybe later on when the time is right, we can find a way to transition into a work environment that better suits our strengths. The good news is outside of work, your time is all yours, and you can be as introverted as you want to be. Consider some of these solo activities you can do outside of work to recharge after your social battery is depleted.
Did you find these tips helpful? What if anything would you add to this list? Let me know; I love hearing from you!
