The Different Types of Introverts & 7 Common Misconceptions About Us
Just like not all extroverts are the same, not all introverts are the same, but sometimes labels like these can cause us to create false assumptions about each other, like the following:
“All extroverts just like superficial conversations and relationships.”
“Introverts are always making everything some sort of deep conversation.”
“Extroverts just don’t know when to shut up and let other people have the floor.”
“Introverts must hate people.”
Misconceptions like these often do more harm than good in both our personal and professional lives, but I think if we could all learn to have some compassion and understanding for each other’s natural tendencies, the world would be a much better place.
So, I wrote this article to explain to both introverts and extroverts alike that not all introverts are the same and we are not all interested in the exact same things, although we may have similarities.
Not All Introverts Are the Same
The general definition of introversion is a personality type that focus a person’s energy on the inner world, as in one’s own feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Introverts tend to prefer alone time or socializing with one or a few people at a time.
However, it’s important to note that everyone is different, and introversion and extroversion exists on a spectrum, which means that no one introvert (or extrovert for that matter) will be exactly the same.
There will be some people who are more introverted than others.
If you’re anything like me, I’m like 95% introverted.
2 Broad Categories: Type A and Type B
In the academic journal Introversion: A misunderstood "individual difference" among students, written by the late Dr. Arnold Henjum, Henjum defines two broad categories of introverts including “those who are self-sufficient, confident and self-actualizing (Type A), and those who are shy, withdrawn and who have a low self-concept (Type B).” While there are a wide variety of individual factors contributing to people with introverted personalities, his findings in educational studies of introverted students show us that it’s possible for introverts to be socially well-adjusted, just like it’s possible for them to be shy and timid.
The 4 Types of Introverts:
The 4 types of introverts as specified by psychologists at Wellesley College are social introverts, thinking introverts, anxious introverts, and inhibited introverts.
Social Introverts
Social introverts like to spend time alone, but do enjoy socializing with one or a few close friends in more quiet settings rather than crowded environments.
Thinking Introverts
Thinking introverts tend to spend lots of time in their own heads just thinking and having creative imaginations.
Anxious Introverts
Anxious introverts prefer being alone not only because they like it, but because often feel awkward or shy around people. I also think it’s possible that people can choose to be more introverted because they feel awkward or shy around others, even thought they may actually be more extroverted in nature.
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Restrained/Inhibited Introverts
Restrained/inhibited introverts tend to think before acting. They may take longer to take action on something and aren’t likely to make a decision on the whim.
Personally I think the need to create all of these different labels of introverts is much more helpful for psychologists than it is for everyday introverts like you and me, but anyhow, which type of introvert do you think fits your personality best?
I think you can be more of one than the other, or you can be a combination of the different types. Who knows? You might even have some extroverted tendencies that come out once in a while, because remember, introversion and extraversion exist on a spectrum!
7 Misconceptions About Introverts:
We Are All “Anti-Social,” or Dislike People
Anti-social doesn’t actually mean what most people think it means. While most people assume it means you don’t like being social, it actually describes people whose behaviors are not very welcoming to others, and are even harmful or dangerous. It can include yelling, screaming, pushing, and generally being a mean jerk.
However, what I think people mean in this context is that introverts don’t like being social at all and prefer being by themselves a lot.
While it’s true that many of us value our alone time, we don’t all wish to completely shut ourselves off from the rest of society, which is why we tend to have a few friends that we hang out with when we’re in a social mood.
We Are All Shy
While it’s true that some introverts may also be shy or may behave like an introvert because they are shy, we aren’t all that way.
Many of us are very socially confident and not shy at all.
If you’re anything like I used to be, I was both an introvert and I had severe social anxiety for nearly a decade because of me having Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD). It took me some time to eventually overcome my fear of socializing with people, but once I did, I discovered that I am still an introvert — it’s just that now I am a socially confident introvert.
If you’re a shy introvert who is looking to overcome your shyness, check out my blog post How to Overcome Being Shy as an Introvert.
We Are All Socially Awkward
While some introverts may be socially awkward much like I used to be, being an introvert does not automatically mean that you struggle with basic social skills.
It makes a lot of sense why someone who is socially awkward or socially inept would tend towards being more introverted and withdrawn, but they are not the same thing.
There are many socially skilled introverts who can be sociable when they want to be or have to be.
If you are a socially awkward introvert, you might enjoy reading my blog post 21 Behaviors That Make You Seem Socially Awkward, which gives you some simple, straightforward explanations of the behaviors you should be mindful of during your next social gathering.
We Are All Deep/Over Thinkers
Contrary to popular belief, not every introvert is a deep thinker or an over thinker.
Some people just prefer to do solo activities and socialize with a few people without everything having to be a deep conversation.
We All Dislike Extroverts
While it may be true that introverts and extroverts are motivated by and find fulfillment in different things, we don’t all dislike each other.
In fact, it’s possible for introverts and extroverts to be friends. This doesn’t mean that they do every single activity together, because introverts and extroverts often have different hobbies and activities, but it does mean they can find some common ground and can enjoy each other’s company.
However, just like two extroverts or two introverts may not enjoy each other’s company, it’s possible that an introvert and an extrovert may not enjoy each other’s company for many reasons, including clashing personalities, or just regular old incompatibility.
No one is obligated to like any particular person, introverted-extroverted personalities aside.
We Hate Any Type of Small Talk
Many introverts are known for enjoying deep conversations that go below the surface level, but this doesn’t mean that all of us are vehemently against having small talk every once in a while.
I actually enjoy small talk sometimes just to connect with the people around me and to let people know that I’m friendly and open to conversation.
After all, small talk can be a gateway to deeper connections. You never know if you never try!
If you’re an introvert who is looking to brush up on your small talk skills, make sure you download my FREE Guide to Small Talk for Introverts.
We Are All on the Autism Spectrum
This misconception is less common than the other ones, but I’ve seen a few popular YouTube videos and content online that tends to group introverts and autistic people in the same category, and as someone who is autistic and an introvert, I think it’s worth addressing.
While I admit there is a lot of overlap between the introversion and autism, they are not the same.
Autism is a neurological disorder that affects people’s ability to socialize and communicate in the way most people do, and a common symptom of autism is the need for lots of alone time away from overstimulating environments.
Introversion is not a disorder, but a personality trait of people who focus their energy inwardly rather than externally like extroverts, and although may prefer alone time or time spent with just a few people sparingly, they do not necessarily have the same social difficulties that autistic people do.
Besides, I’ve met a few autistic people who I would describe as extroverted because they enjoy being around other people quite a bit. However, their autistic symptoms might make it more difficult to do that.
We’re all different, and there is so much more to our personalities than being an introvert or an extrovert, but how are people going to get to know you on a personal level if you happen to be an anxious introvert who struggles with shyness and social awkwardness like I once did?
If you’re ready to become a socially confident introvert without having to act like someone you’re not, check out my 1-on-1 coaching services specifically for shy, awkward introverts. This includes my 12-week program Communicate with Quiet Confidence, which is a more extensive coaching program to help you become socially confident, or my power hour coaching sessions where we can begin your journey to overcoming your fears of socializing in just 1 hour!
What misconceptions are you guilty of believing, even if you’re not an introvert? Let me know; I love hearing stories from readers!
