Practical Job Interview Tips for Socially Awkward People
For socially awkward people, something as crucial as a job interview can be a nerve-racking and anxiety-inducing ordeal. The good news is it doesn’t have to be.
As someone who has struggled — and sometimes still struggles — with the symptoms of high-functioning Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) for my entire life, I understand the pain of being viewed as socially awkward, so in this article I’ve laid out my best tips on nailing the first job interview as a socially awkward person — all from the experience of a former socially awkward person.
1. Nail the First Impression; It Gets Easier From There
Making a good first impression with confident body language and a strong greeting can ease your nerves and makes the rest of the interview much easier.
Of course there’s the typical advice of dressing for success and what-not, but here is some more specific advice for socially awkward people:
Walk in with confidence, meaning slightly elevate your chin, smile naturally (not forcibly), straighten your back, and square your shoulders.
Greet the interviewer(s) in a pleasant manner. Use phrases like “Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” or “Hi, it’s great to finally get to sit down and talk with you.”
If there is more than one interviewer, make sure to acknowledge all of them. You don’t have to give each of them an individual verbal greeting, but as you say your general greeting, simultaneously make eye contact with and nod towards each of them. If you think the nod would be too much for you to get right, at least make eye contact with each of them.
Once you know you’ve started off on a good foot, you won’t be as worried about how the rest of the interview goes, because the interviewer(s) have already seen the beginning signs that you have confidence in yourself.
2. Use the Context of This Controlled Environment to Your Advantage
A controlled environment like a job interview is actually a really great place to work on your social skills if you alter your perspective a little.
Instead of viewing the interview as a high-stress environment where the outcome can affect your livelihood, try to view it as an environment that is low-pressure because all of your talking prompts are already laid out for you, and there is already an expectation from both parties that the other will be as cordial and polite as possible.
This is not like a random conversation with a stranger that you’re not prepared for; you at least have an idea of what the topic of discussion will be, and the interviewers have to be nice to you at least for the duration of the interview whereas a complete stranger has no obligation to be nice to you or engage with you at all.
3. Practice Your Responses Beforehand in a Mirror or on Camera
Socially awkward people tend to struggle with communication basics like body language, facial expressions, and mannerisms, so if you can practice in a mirror (even better if it’s a full-length mirror) or if you can film yourself and watch the footage afterwards, you’ll be more aware of what you can improve upon.
Being able to view how your behavior is being interpreted from the perspective of non-socially awkward people can help you to improve that behavior. In my experience, looking over the camera footage with my parents who were very attune to my socially awkward ways since childhood was a big help, but if your parents are not an option, try it with your therapist, counselor, or an understanding friend who won’t laugh at you.
Before you practice in a mirror or camera, glance over my article The Complete Guide to Social Aptitude for Awkward People so that you have something with which to compare your current mannerisms and behavior.
4. Treat It Like a Normal Conversation
Don’t treat this like a job interview. Instead, treat it like a slightly more professional normal conversation where the topics are mostly about the job position and your skills.
Of course there is no denying the fact that this is a little more serious than an everyday conversation so I’m not saying you should be overly casual in your presentation, but at the core, it has all of the ingredients of a basic conversation:
It involves two or more people who have an interest in speaking to each other.
You’ll still be using the basic concepts of communication, just in a more professional manner.
You both have a shared interest; the job position.
The interviewers may have control over whether you get the job or not, but behind the wall of buttoned up suits, they are just regular people; they are not God.
Thinking about it from this perspective can alleviate the stress you may feel about your interview.
5. Learn How to Recover From Awkward Moments
The key to any good conversation is knowing how to recover from awkward moments, and a job interview is no different.
If you say or do something awkward and the interviewers happen to notice, the best thing to do is to apologize; this shows them that you recognize something you said or did made them uncomfortable.
In my article What Are the Root Causes of Social Awkwardness?, I examine the social psychologist Dr. Joshua Clegg’s findings regarding socially awkward people and socially awkward situations; according to his findings about how people handled awkward situations, “Avoidant responses were associated with a magnification and extension of the effects of social awkwardness while direct responses were associated with a re-established sense of social harmony.” In other words, people don’t like interacting with people who are unaware that their behavior is disturbing, so instead of ignoring it and acting like it didn’t happen, you should acknowledge it and directly respond to it.
So, if you happen to say something a little awkward or make a joke that didn’t land well, just say a quick “Sorry about that,” and move on with the discussion.
6. Perform a Self-Evaluation and Learn From Your Mistakes
You have to be careful with this tip, because if you to linger on the awkward or negative moments for too long, you’ll start to get anxious about future social interactions, so do a quick debrief about what could’ve gone better, and do better next time.
You could do something as simple as a 5-10 minute meditation session where you think about what went wrong and make a mental note about how to fix it in the future, or if you’re a writer like I am, you could journal about it to get a deeper understanding of what happened, how it made the other person uncomfortable, and how you can fix it next time.
So, while you shouldn’t linger for too long about awkward or uncomfortable moments, you should at least identify what went poorly and figure out what you should do differently next time.
More Resources for Social Awkwardness in the Workplace
If you’re still nervous about your first job interview, contact me and maybe I can offer you some words of encouragement; I love hearing from readers like you!
