How to Attract a Man as a Socially Awkward Woman
If you’re as socially awkward as I used to be, you’ve probably had little to no luck attracting men that are interested in you. The good news is there is someone out there for most every woman, and there are only a few key things you need to alter about your socially awkward ways in order to get the kind of attention you want.
In this article, I’ve provided you with some basic steps you can take as soon as today to completely change the way men respond to you — all of which have been proven in my day-to-day life as a former severely socially awkward woman.
1. Work on Your Social Attractiveness
Social attractiveness is not about things you have no control over, like your physical appearance or social status; it’s about being approachable, confident, and generally having the attitude that people are comfortable being around. Look at yourself in the mirror and notice your stance, posture, facial expression, overall demeanor, and your attire, and ask yourself this question:
Am I portraying myself as a reflection of the type of man I want?
This was a hard question that I had to come to terms with in my younger years, and once I finally came to realize that the answer to that question was a resounding “No,” I realized just how much time I had wasted in my youthful years looking like a slob and portraying an overall demeanor of “Don’t talk to me. Don’t even look at me.”
It took a while for me to overcome my social anxiety and build up a healthy level of confidence so that I felt comfortable enough to even socialize with people, including men, but with some determination and a few outward tweaks to my appearance, I was able to do it.
Here are a few tips that will vastly improve your social attractiveness:
Dress appropriately and in a manner that exudes self-respect. In other words, dress for the type of man you want.
Look approachable by wearing a pleasant facial expression, holding your head up, and walking/standing with a confident posture.
If needed, take steps to improve your conversational skills.
Look at people’s faces so that you can see who all wants to interact with you.
If you still need some more specific tips on how to help you work on your social attractiveness, here are some helpful resources to check out once you’re done reading this article:
2. Look for a Man That’s Giving You Signals
I can’t stress this enough; you should NOT go for a man that is not giving you the time of day, especially if you’re already socially awkward and anxious. If you do, you’re self-esteem is going to drop drastically when they show utter contempt for you, and in my experience, pursuing a man as a love interest is a recipe for an unhappy relationship dynamic.
Focus on finding a man that is showing signs of being interested in you with the following behaviors:
He can’t stop looking or glancing over at you from across the room.
When you meet his eyes, he immediately smiles, nods, and/or raises his eyebrows.
He keeps lingering around you in an attempt to get your attention.
Basically, whenever you notice that one particular man doing one of these things and your first thought is, “What on earth does he want?” or “Why does he keep looking over here?” consider the possibility that he might be interested in talking to you.
3. Make Eye Contact, Smile, and Nod
I’ve read many reddit posts and asked just about every male family member of mine this one question:
“What makes a man want to approach a woman he’s interested in?”
The general consensus was that it doesn’t matter how attractive the woman is; if she does not give him the go ahead to talk to her by acknowledging his existence, he is probably not going to approach her, because he doesn’t want to risk the social embarrassment that may come if she rejects him, and he doesn’t want to appear creepy or overbearing by overstepping your boundaries. This is a feeling that you can probably relate to as a socially awkward woman, so cut him some slack.
If you notice that a man is obviously trying to get your attention and you want him to approach you, make eye contact and hold it for a few seconds, smile, and nod once in his direction. After that, you’re job is done; just wait for him to come to you.
4. Relax; He’s More Nervous Than You Are
It’s a scientific fact that men’s testosterone goes up when they are in the presence of a woman, especially ones they find attractive; this as a result can make them seem jittery and nervous in conversation, but the testosterone also provides a strong incentive for them to interact with you.
Now this isn’t to say that every single man will be nervous talking to you; after all, everyone is unattractive to someone. So don’t expect every man to fall over themselves at the thought of talking to you, but the men who do ultimately find you attractive are bound to be more nervous than you are. So, try not to stress out so much at the thought of talking to them.
5. Appear Engaged in What He’s Saying
Once the conversation has been started, the way to pull him in is to appear engaged in what he says by looking into his eyes (not necessarily in a corny rom-com way), and giving him social cues that your interested in what he has to say. They love women who listen to them and seem genuinely interested in what they have to say.
You can learn more ways to draw a man in by reading my article How to Flirt as a Shy, Socially Awkward Woman; you’ll even learn my best advice for dealing with rejection if and when it happens!
Need some more tips and tricks on attracting potential mates as a socially awkward woman? Let me know; I’d love to help you!
