How to Deal With a Socially Awkward Person (From a Former Awkward Person)
The best way to deal with a socially awkward person is to exercise empathy, give them appropriate social cues to help them know they are being awkward, and don’t give up interacting with them so abruptly.
If you’ve ever been in a social interaction with a socially awkward person, you’ve probably thought one or more of the following things:
“Do they know how awkward they are being right now? Should I tell them?”
“Should I just walk away, or is that too mean?”
“I don’t want to be rude, but I’m really uncomfortable talking to this person right now.”
As a former severely socially awkward person, I can empathize with how you’re feeling. To give you some more contextual background, I have struggled with the symptoms of high-functioning Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) for my entire life (think of ASD as a severe case of innate social awkwardness). Needless to say, it took a long time for me to get over my struggles with socializing, but I know a thing or two about handling socially awkward interactions from both sides of the coin.
So here are some of my best tips for how you can handle interacting with socially awkward people in a kind, empathetic, yet helpful way.
Exercise Some Empathy for Their Situation
If you’re an extroverted, seasoned socialite who knows how to work a room, it might be difficult for you to understand the mind of a socially awkward person, so consider the following comparison: Imagine that you were in a room full of people who didn’t like to talk, and every time you tried to start a conversation with them, they looked at you like you were crazy. It doesn’t matter how nice you are or how hard you tried to get them to talk to you, they just don’t want to, and they’re not shy about letting you know how weird they think you are. That’s what it feels like to be socially awkward in a room full of people who thrive on being social.
If you can imagine this feeling the next time you’re dealing with a socially awkward person, it might be easier for you to empathize with how they’re feeling, and you won’t be so quick to write them off.
Provide Them With Appropriate Social Cues
While it’s important to be empathetic, it’s also important to provide socially awkward people with some basic social cues so that they know what is socially acceptable and what is making people uncomfortable. After all, if no one ever tells you what you’re doing is wrong, you’ll just keep doing it. The good thing is that it’s possible to do this without being mean.
Here are a few tips:
If someone is being awkward in a one-on-one conversation with you:
Your facial expressions paired with silence can say a lot if you want to avoid using words, and usually, unless they have a developmental disorder, they can pick up on what your facial expressions mean.
If you’re not afraid of verbal confrontation, you can verbally tell them they’re being awkward or even making you uncomfortable without being rude or mean; just let them know in a straight face and in a non-degrading voice how they’re behavior is being perceived by you and others. Start off my saying, “Hey, I’m not trying to be mean, but …”
If someone is being awkward in a group setting:
Sometimes, awkward silence and a straight/neutral face is the nicest response you can provide, especially if you’re in a group settings and don’t want to verbally embarrass the person in front of everyone.
If someone is being awkward in a group setting, you could pull them aside or wait until you’re alone with them to tell them how awkward they are being. This also saves them the embarrassment of being chastised in front of everyone.
Some of the best advice I’ve ever received regarding my awkward social behavior in my middle and high school days were from friends and family who kindly but bluntly told me that something I said or did was not being received well.
Don’t Give Up on Talking to Them Immediately
You have the potential to either help build or destroy someone’s confidence and their willingness to keep trying to interact and learn social skills. That’s a big deal when you consider just how social humans are by nature and how important it is for people to belong somewhere.
If socially awkward people are constantly rejected when they are trying their best to interact, it can negatively affect their self esteem and even demotivate them from ever trying again, so to avoid killing their confidence, give the person a few more tries to get it right if they have a few misses at first; you can use the other tips I listed in this article when doing this.
Resources for Socially Awkward People:
If you or someone you know is struggling with socially awkwardness, you might find the following resources helpful to use for yourself or to share with your loved ones:
Are you struggling with social awkwardness or do you want to learn more about how to deal with socially awkward people? Let me know; I love hearing stories from readers!
